Kiss Miss

Tonight, Erik and I went to dinner with Santos*, Lucas's "ex-photographer-buddy" and arch-nemesis. I'm not sure what the whole story is, because a lot of the time when Lucas and Erik talk I tune out. I got in trouble for that yesterday. Lucas had stopped in at Solferino between court and his dental appointment. Lucas and Erik started talking about... something... I don't know exactly what it was but it was about something that I knew nothing about and wasn't too interested in. Probably the political affairs of Canada. And I was feeling downright unsociable at the time. So while they talked, I read the New York Times online. Lucas interrupted me several times to ask what I was doing and to make comments on what I was reading. Erik asked me outright if I was bored by them. I guess I should have picked up that they thought I was being rude, but I didn't. I just found out today. But whatever! I was in the middle of studying and otherwise doing my own thing; I didn't realize I was expected to entertain Lucas's social call! I thought he had just popped in to talk to Erik!

Anyway. Lucas and Santos had a falling out a few weeks ago. Something about Santos "borrowing" Lucas's favorite flash and then dropping it into a gorge while he was trying to get that million-dollar shot of a rare red moose. (EWWW - total aside here but the neighbors upstairs are apparently having sex. It's like creakcreakcreakcreakcreakcreak moan moan. Gross. Not that there is anything wrong with sex, but I don't like to hear it happening - unless it's me.) So, Santos apparently has been trying to hang out with Erik lately in an effort to squirm his way back into Lucas's good graces. Erik is a Lucas loyalist so he's been ignoring all of Santos's efforts, but Santos showed up at Solferino today close to dinnertime (and Erik is convinced it was no coincidence). That's how we ended up going for dinner and drinks with Santos, whom I found to be a really sweet guy. He had to leave early to meet his girlfriend Macarena*, and when he left, he gave me a two-cheek kiss, Spanish-style. I'm usually not a cheek-kisser (unless I'm drunk, then I cheek-kiss left and right). I find it mildly pretentious when Americans who grew up, in say, Iowa, transplant into New York and then start giving people cheek-kisses for no good reason. But whatever, Santos emigrated from Brazil ten years and it's what he does.

Unfortunately, that move gave Erik some funny ideas. After Santos left he half-jokingly, half-sulkily asked why Santos got kisses when he's hung out with me far more times and has never once gotten a single kiss. I replied its because he never tried to kiss me whereas Santos had. So Erik responded that he would like a kiss as well so I airily gave him a kiss on his left cheek and then on his right in the manner of greeting or farewell I had just given Santos. But then Erik grabbed the back of my head and tried to kiss my lips. I turned my head and said, "I think we're overstepping the greeting-kiss boundary here, Erik!" Erik let me go and said, "Oh, yeah, I just thought that would be funny." HA FUCKING HA Erik. Hilarious.

*Some names have been changed.